Well, now I know.
They opened up this morning, yep, those things I suspected, that I've felt growing for a while . . .
So now we're positive I'm becoming a water 'fairy' like Liv, just great. I guess on the good side I won't be sensitive to light as Vin is, and I'll still be able to see colors. Now that I've come to grips with this, I know better how to take care of it--daily little baths, and fuck how many packets I go through, but at least I'm not having weird breathing episodes any more. Their fault I need this much anyway. And I can't wait for these stupid wings to unfurl already. They're poking a good inch out my back under the skin now, they itch like heck, and HURT!!!!
Meanwhile. Colin and Viggo. I think I'm still kind of surprised at Viggo's words to him. I never in a million years would expect Viggo to fall hard that fast. Pardon, but I still suspect the DNA mambo going on inside may be partly to blame. And my own reaction when Colin told me was kind of unexpected. I wanted to help him, but I didn't know how, and I really tried not to show it, how I felt--which I think I did a good job; I mean I'm an actor and all. But it hurt me a little. Only a little. I mean it's stupid. I have no claim on anybody, so who's falling for who shouldn't concern me. So why did I feel a little jealous? And I'm not even sure which one I was jealous of. Stupid, just like I said. Better to just not feel. I've been saying it for years. My life, my job, I'll never get close enough to anyone for the kind of thing I picture love to be anyways, and even if I do I know it won't last. All I have to do is look at my parents. Fuck. All of Hollywood.
And now . . . well . . . I'm alone again, I guess. It's only a matter of time before it gets too awkward for them to share with me any more. Argh. I just wish one of my hobbits were here, to get me through this. I will get through. But I'm scared.
I want somebody to hold onto.